Why do you care what others think of you?

Maybe it is time you stopped. I am sure you have heard all the cliches about not giving a damn about what others think about you, yet it is still hard to take a negative comment. I mean let’s face it if you were dying tomorrow, will it matter what anyone said or thought about you? Of course not. Let me share some thoughts and ideas and if you decide to act upon these I am certain your outlook on life will change for the better.

People are going to judge you no matter what and there is not a damn you can do about it, so stop wasting your time thinking about it. Don’t Read the bloody commentary. Reading comments about you is worse than actually listening to someone spewing negativity to your face, at least in this case you can respond. I am not recommending you respond to verbal comments, especially don’t engage with the written comments. People are cruel and they will if you let them vomit all over you. Don’t let them.

There is a reason why we say, it is my mind, the operative word here is mine. I decide how to use it, I decide what goes in it, I decide what I read, listen to, or experience. Use your mind for your benefit, that in fact is its primary function. Feedback is important for navigation, but not all feedback is equal, decide for yourself the standards and filters you will use to receive and act upon the feedback. For me to listen and pay any heed to your feedback, you had better be walking your talk, and showing me by your action what you would like me to heed by your words, otherwise, I am not interested. Maybe you think this is cocky, however, we live in a society where everyone is a bloody expert on everything, just because you know how to google leadership, you are not a leader.

In the context of everything, whatever the opinion or problem is, it doesn’t matter. As I said if you were on your death bed what anyone thought would mean diddly squat. There are way more important things to worry about than opinions you can’t use Jedi mind tricks to control. You’re doing the best you can. F*ck the naysayers, and people who are hating life, and do YOU any which way you want. I wish someone told me years ago that the BS I worry about is so pathetic and life-limiting. Give your attention to the opinions that matter or ignore them all if you like. It’s your life amigo. You get to act out every scene in the play.

As the saying goes don’s sweat the small stuff, and everything is small stuff. Today all it takes is an ubiquitous cell phone to become the critic and be outraged at the smallest of things. One of my mentors used to say “The size of a person can best be determined by the size of the thing which makes him/her mad.” How big are you? Pay no attention to small-minded critics, for you were not meant for their pleasure. Life is too short and you have a lot to do just living, stop wasting time and energy on little things. Live life to the fullest, laugh, and love a lot. Don’t worry about your reputation it is fiction anyway, use your energy to be creative and give the world what only you can give.

I once worked for an amazing individual. I was young and naive, worried about everything. One day he sat me down and asked why I was so stressed, so I told him. He asked me to list everything I was worried about, after I was done he took the sheets of paper folded and put them in an envelope sealed and dated it. Then he said I relieve you of all responsibility from anything on that list if anything were to happen I will be responsible, so now go and do what you should be doing and come back in a month. A month later he opened and asked me to review the list and tell him which items on the list he will have to take care of, you see he never bothered to even look at the list before he assumed responsibility. I could not find one bloody item on that list for him to be responsible for. The lesson I learned that day was that 99.99% of the things we worry about every day never come true, and the .01% that do are so pathetic as to be almost laughable. Stop worrying about all the crap.

And finally understand that you are not that damn important, even if you were the king, in the end, you are going out of this world just as you came in naked and penniless. So stay humble and do the best you can to make life a little easier for your fellow travelers. If you’re giving a damn about every little thing, it might just be because you accidentally think you’re really important and special. You’re not, and that thought will set you free and allow you to overcome opinions.